heavenlydecree | (no subject)

(no subject)

[If there was one thing Takatora was sure he should have learned by now, it would be how to keep his life in perfect running order. He had been the head of Yggdrasill's Research and Development branch from the moment he'd left high school and even before that, his father had kept him on a tight and strict schedule, never a second unaccounted for or left out of place. Unfortunately, with all of Takatora's scheduling and trying to squeeze an extra hour into every day, he still felt as though he never had time for anything, let alone everything. Even his weekends left little time for himself, though Takatora was also painfully aware of his obsession with triple-checking everything under his command and bringing such weight onto himself. He couldn't allow for errors.

His morning routine started a bit later on the weekends, if only because Takatora knew he had to catch up on sleep at some point to make up for running himself ragged. Getting sick was something he couldn't risk. The usual morning routine went by quickly: dragging himself out of bed (he'd never become a morning person, as much as he wanted to), showering, getting dressed, checking for any news or alerts while he had been sleeping. Thankfully, nothing important had happened during the night. Takatora always lived with the fear of something awful happening while he was asleep that he would be unprepared for, but every morning brought the same temporary relief. For now.

Takatora headed out of his room after an hour or so, still checking his phone as he made his way down the hall and towards the stairs. Ryouma already wanted to talk to him about something, which was mildly surprising as Ryouma rarely (never) got out of bed so early, which meant he'd been up all night again. Stepping past one of the maids, Takatora spoke a return greeting to her as he continued on, paying more attention to typing out messages than his surroundings.]

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You cannot protect me. I need you to realize that.

[The words had slipped out before Takatora could stop them, in his sudden haze of stress and anxiety. That had been far too revealing, which meant he immediately shifted gears to try and cover up his mistake. He slid his other hand up to Mitsuzane's other shoulder, turning his younger brother to face him.]

There are a lot of things I can't tell you. It's not because you're not old enough. I want to protect you. It's my duty as your older brother and your guardian. To pull you into this world, you would never be able to go back. I want you to enjoy your life as long as you can, without this kind of responsibility.

['Enjoy his life'. Did Takatora really think he enjoyed the routine of being a 'perfect child'? He allowed himself to reveal a brief scowl, before looking back up at Takatora. He let out a sigh, shaking his head.]

But you're shouldering things alone, Takatora. You might be my guardian, but you're not really... I don't mean to say that you're not doing a good job, but I just worry that there are things that I could help you shoulder that you're not letting me help with. If it's something that's worrying you this much, it's something I think I should try to help with.

Otherwise... I don't know. People at school are talking about the city becoming more and more dangerous. I don't follow the same sort of things some of them do, but they say people have been hurt. I don't want you to get hurt, too.

[Takatora was rarely aware of how much emotion he let slip through without meaning to, especially around his younger brother. Being addressed by his first name rather than 'nii-san' caused a visible frown on his face, but that was just the beginning of a large number of Mitsuzane's words pulling at him.

Was it right to tell him, like this? To have him grow up so suddenly? It felt wrong to do so when Mitsuzane was being so passionate, that telling him now when he was like this might make him last out more.]

I'll allow you to ask me one question now. Tonight... I'll tell you anything else you want to know.

[Oh god, he hated himself for this.]

Does that sound fair?

... Yes.

[Bingo. Right where he wanted him. He bowed his head as he sat down carefully, thinking it over. A single question. What would get him the most information? What would lead to the most information? And what was the question that would sound the most logical right now, given what he was and wasn't supposed to know?]

Please tell me, nii-san. Please tell me how you got that injury.

[When Mitsuzane walked away, Takatora followed close behind. He walked up behind the other after he sat down, (very) carefully resting his hands on his brother's shoulders and doing his best to offer a comforting squeeze before he went to sit back down. As soon as they were done exchanging words over the question, Takatora would make a note of everything he already knew they needed to talk about, to make sure nothing was left out.

Once Takatora was seated, he leaned back in his chair and crossed one leg over the other, staring at Mitsuzane as he spoke.]

Ryouma... and I have been working on a project for a very long time. I offered myself for an experiment because I wanted to shoulder the effects myself. ... it was simply a miscalculation, a mechanical malfunction. I don't hold Ryouma responsible, even though I'm sure he still blames himself.

[He sighed heavily.]

I was in the hospital for weeks. I told you I was out of town, but I never gave you a reason. I didn't believe at the time you would understand or be able to handle such news. My recovery took months. It's far from perfect now, but it's condition has vastly improved. Sometimes, unfortunately, it still tends to act up. I feel like an old man some days.

[Ryouma blaming himself? Doubtful. From what he knew of the man, he likely blamed Takatora more than himself. But ah. That cleared up a few things.]

I... I see. I won't ask you about this project now, since you did tell me you would only answer a single question, and I know you're busy anyway. But I do... want to know if there's anything I can do to help it? If you had told me before I could at least help pick things up for you. Not that you shouldn't exercise it, but there's no reason to strain yourself.

[It also gave him a good theory on how to fight if the worst happened. Not that he himself was the best fighter... but then again, that was all the more reason to keep such an advantage in his pocket if things turned messy.]

[Those words made Takatora self-conscious again, as he lowered his gaze to the surface of his desk. His stomach twisted uncomfortably, his mind trying to fight down any guilt he felt at leaving Mitsuzane in the dark for so long and how caring his brother was now. Perhaps it really had been a mistake to leave him out of the loop, but his desire for Mitsuzane to be normal as long as possible had overridden a lot of his good judgment.]

It's not so bad that I need you to do those things for me. As your older brother... it's my responsibility to be strong and protect you. I would never want you to view me as weak...

[He cleared his throat, sitting up to start sorting the paperwork on his desk.]

I apologize. I know I can be rather selfish sometimes.

... I don't think you're weak. Even now that I know - I'm just glad it wasn't anything worse.

[He picked up his textbook again, but didn't open it. Not yet. He still had a few more lines to deliver before he went back to studying.]

You can't do all of this on your own. I just want to help you, like I said. I'm your brother. If you can't trust me to help...

[Well, then who could he? He didn't say it, but the unsaid words still hung in the air.]

It isn't that I don't trust you, Mitsuzane...

[Unfortunately, Takatora trusted Mitsuzane far more that he knew was healthy or that he wanted to let on, but he was fairly sure his younger brother already knew that with how easy he was to manipulate.]

I simply don't want to burden you. However... [He pressed his lips together for a moment, then reached across the table to lightly grasp Mitsuzane's hand, looking up at him.] Thank you. It means more than you know to hear you say these things.

[He curled his hand around his brother's, looking up and smiling.]

Whatever you're shouldering, we can shoulder it together. It's been just the two of us for a long time. I'm not so young anymore. You can count on me now.

As long as you are sure.

[Takatora reached out with his other hand, clasping Mitsuzane's in both of his and squeezing tightly. It pulled a bit on his shoulder, but the pain was minor compared to the message he wanted to convey. He managed a weak, warm smile, with a look on his face for a moment that he might actually start to cry.]

I'm sorry, Mitsuzane... I don't deserve a little brother as kind as you.

[Nope. Nope nope nope. Abandon ship. He had no clue how to deal with a crying Takatora. He just laughed a little bit, trying to ease his spirits slightly. Even though he did want information... well. Takatora was still his brother.]

There's no need to look so upset. You're the one who taught me almost everything I know, nii-san.

You're right. Forgive me.

[Takatora hated the idea of being emotional in front of his brother, if only because being weak in front of the other seemed so unsatisfactory. If he was supposed to be strong, then breaking down in front of him wouldn't do any good. Unfortunately, it was always hard to fight that sort of feeling when he received such kindness.

Takatora gave Mitsuzane's hands a final squeeze before he pulled his hands back, resuming his organizing of paperwork. Beating himself up in front of Mitsuzane wouldn't look good either.]

Are you feeling a little better? ... health wise and about this, I mean.

... Yes. I think I just needed to rest a bit.

[His bruises still would take a little time to heal, but those were minor when compared to the idea of not protecting Gaim. Fortunately, Mai had let him know that today was looking quiet. At least that was a little good news.]

And... well. We can talk more when we get home. I think we both have work to do now, right?

You sound better. And look much better. Did you bring something to drink?

[Takatora focuses on his paperwork as much as the conversation at hand, trying to remember where he had been before talking to both Ryouma and Mitsuzane had upset the rhythm he'd had going. He carefully moves his completed work to the side, trying to sort through what he has left. Unfortunately, the results aren't good, as usual. There will be plenty more to catch up on tomorrow.]

You're still welcome to ask me if you get stuck.

[It really made his heart twist that Mitsuzane was being so forward, wanting to spend so much time with him and making it convenient for Takatora. It certainly made him want to return to the favor.]

... is there anything you might want for dinner?

I brought some juice with me.

[Not orange juice, though. ... He had considered it, but the idea just feels weird to him now. That fruit just falling onto Kouta's head... the image won't leave him as long as he thinks of the juice, so it had to be something else.]

And... I don't know. Just something simple. I don't think we really need to do anything elaborate tonight. I still have a math test to study for once I'm done with biology, after all.

[Even though Takatora had noticed Mitsuzane's grades slipping over the last few weeks and knew exactly why it was happening, he couldn't blame the other and felt it wasn't right to bring that sort of situation up now, especially since Mitsuzane seemed to be trying so hard to keep up. Takatora knew how difficult it was to balance all of his work and ... well, he'd certainly been rather hard on his brother.]

Think about what you want. I'll order it for you. A good meal will help your health.

[Aside from that, Takatora had yet to eat since leaving the house, which drew his attention to the box on the corner of the desk. Perhaps after a bit more paperwork...]

All right. I'll let you know.

[Even with everything, he still has to keep up with school. ... He tries to suppress a flash of jealousy of the others. They didn't have classes to worry about, just dance. Even once he finished high school he wouldn't escape classes. He's going to university - there's no question about it. He's not going to have time to dance forever.]

... As long as you eat something, too.

I will. I promise. We can eat together in your room and you can ask me anything you want.

[That should have been surprising enough, considering how strict their father had always been about eating anywhere in the house other than at the dining room table, though both sons had broken that from time to time. Takatora occasionally (though rarely) ate in his home office or in his room, while any time Mitsuzane was sick, Takatora always had the food taken to his room. To suggest eating their meals in such a small, awkward place?

Well, it was one of the only rooms in the house without cameras and while Takatora was sure Ryouma would figure out what was said at some point, he didn't want anyone listening.]

[His eyes widen slightly, but he nods. He'd noticed cameras in a few of the rooms, but none in his. He wasn't sure who was watching, or why, but he's always been glad there's none in his room. Whatever Takatora has to tell him must be sensitive information to not want to eat in the dining room.]

Understood. Please let me know if there's anything I can do to make myself useful while I'm here, nii-san.

Get as much work done as you can before we leave. I don't want you working on anything else tonight. Depending on how you feel, we'll see if you need to go to school tomorrow, but I would prefer if you didn't.

[Now he was slipping back into commanding older brother mode. It was a concern not only for the state of Mitsuzane's health in general and wanting to make sure his cold didn't knock him off his feet with the stress of school, but also because he was far too worried about what Mitsuzane's reaction would be to any of the information he'd gain that night.]

[There it is. He was wondering how long it would take for Takatora to go back to this. He'd disarmed him for a good long time. Interesting information to file away in his brain.]

[He hesitates a moment, before nodding. Slightly submissive, right. He can play this role just fine. It's not one he likes, but he doesn't have to lay it on too thick, thankfully.]

Yes, nii-san. I'll make sure I'm done before then.

[The temptation to run his hand down the side of Mitsuzane's face is strong, but Takatora's a bit too far away and the touch is a bit too personal for him to dare to do such a thing. He clears his throat, not feeling there's anything more to say on the subject for now, and returns to going over his paperwork. There's financial work to glance over in passing, paperwork to sign, new projects starting that need his approval, far too many things to go over. For nearly an hour, Takatora sits leaning back in his chair reading a single report, flipping through the pages and going over all of the details for one of Ryouma's new pet projects.

Honestly, it wasn't as though he enjoyed any of this. It was simply required of him.]

[Mitsuzane does get back to work, trying to focus on reading about cellular structure and cloning. It's interesting, but not enough to keep his mind totally occupied, and it takes some actual effort to make himself focus. After all, he has to start making decisions about where he's going to go in life. He can't stay with the Beat Riders forever. As fun as it is, he has a family reputation to uphold.]

[Still, he'd prefer to get back to his math notes rather than biology. Math is simply more straightforward and easier to keep filed away.]

[After a bit more reading on the project, Takatora sets the paperwork down and rubs at his eyes, sighing heavily at realizing how much further he needs to go. He reaches over to grab his coffee, bringing the mug to his lips only to realize the liquid is completely ice cold. ... how long had it been since he'd touched it? He couldn't even remember, now.

Takatora reluctantly pushes his chair back and stands, going to get water instead. It would be a waste to drink coffee again with how late it's gotten, coupled with making coffee would be even more of a waste. It's an unfortunate bad habit he's gained over the years, neglecting himself so much.

When Takatora returns to his desk, he stands by Mitsuzane's side and carefully holds out a cup of water to the other.]

How is your progress?