heavenlydecree | (no subject)

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[If there was one thing Takatora was sure he should have learned by now, it would be how to keep his life in perfect running order. He had been the head of Yggdrasill's Research and Development branch from the moment he'd left high school and even before that, his father had kept him on a tight and strict schedule, never a second unaccounted for or left out of place. Unfortunately, with all of Takatora's scheduling and trying to squeeze an extra hour into every day, he still felt as though he never had time for anything, let alone everything. Even his weekends left little time for himself, though Takatora was also painfully aware of his obsession with triple-checking everything under his command and bringing such weight onto himself. He couldn't allow for errors.

His morning routine started a bit later on the weekends, if only because Takatora knew he had to catch up on sleep at some point to make up for running himself ragged. Getting sick was something he couldn't risk. The usual morning routine went by quickly: dragging himself out of bed (he'd never become a morning person, as much as he wanted to), showering, getting dressed, checking for any news or alerts while he had been sleeping. Thankfully, nothing important had happened during the night. Takatora always lived with the fear of something awful happening while he was asleep that he would be unprepared for, but every morning brought the same temporary relief. For now.

Takatora headed out of his room after an hour or so, still checking his phone as he made his way down the hall and towards the stairs. Ryouma already wanted to talk to him about something, which was mildly surprising as Ryouma rarely (never) got out of bed so early, which meant he'd been up all night again. Stepping past one of the maids, Takatora spoke a return greeting to her as he continued on, paying more attention to typing out messages than his surroundings.]

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I brought some juice with me.

[Not orange juice, though. ... He had considered it, but the idea just feels weird to him now. That fruit just falling onto Kouta's head... the image won't leave him as long as he thinks of the juice, so it had to be something else.]

And... I don't know. Just something simple. I don't think we really need to do anything elaborate tonight. I still have a math test to study for once I'm done with biology, after all.

[Even though Takatora had noticed Mitsuzane's grades slipping over the last few weeks and knew exactly why it was happening, he couldn't blame the other and felt it wasn't right to bring that sort of situation up now, especially since Mitsuzane seemed to be trying so hard to keep up. Takatora knew how difficult it was to balance all of his work and ... well, he'd certainly been rather hard on his brother.]

Think about what you want. I'll order it for you. A good meal will help your health.

[Aside from that, Takatora had yet to eat since leaving the house, which drew his attention to the box on the corner of the desk. Perhaps after a bit more paperwork...]

All right. I'll let you know.

[Even with everything, he still has to keep up with school. ... He tries to suppress a flash of jealousy of the others. They didn't have classes to worry about, just dance. Even once he finished high school he wouldn't escape classes. He's going to university - there's no question about it. He's not going to have time to dance forever.]

... As long as you eat something, too.

I will. I promise. We can eat together in your room and you can ask me anything you want.

[That should have been surprising enough, considering how strict their father had always been about eating anywhere in the house other than at the dining room table, though both sons had broken that from time to time. Takatora occasionally (though rarely) ate in his home office or in his room, while any time Mitsuzane was sick, Takatora always had the food taken to his room. To suggest eating their meals in such a small, awkward place?

Well, it was one of the only rooms in the house without cameras and while Takatora was sure Ryouma would figure out what was said at some point, he didn't want anyone listening.]

[His eyes widen slightly, but he nods. He'd noticed cameras in a few of the rooms, but none in his. He wasn't sure who was watching, or why, but he's always been glad there's none in his room. Whatever Takatora has to tell him must be sensitive information to not want to eat in the dining room.]

Understood. Please let me know if there's anything I can do to make myself useful while I'm here, nii-san.

Get as much work done as you can before we leave. I don't want you working on anything else tonight. Depending on how you feel, we'll see if you need to go to school tomorrow, but I would prefer if you didn't.

[Now he was slipping back into commanding older brother mode. It was a concern not only for the state of Mitsuzane's health in general and wanting to make sure his cold didn't knock him off his feet with the stress of school, but also because he was far too worried about what Mitsuzane's reaction would be to any of the information he'd gain that night.]

[There it is. He was wondering how long it would take for Takatora to go back to this. He'd disarmed him for a good long time. Interesting information to file away in his brain.]

[He hesitates a moment, before nodding. Slightly submissive, right. He can play this role just fine. It's not one he likes, but he doesn't have to lay it on too thick, thankfully.]

Yes, nii-san. I'll make sure I'm done before then.

[The temptation to run his hand down the side of Mitsuzane's face is strong, but Takatora's a bit too far away and the touch is a bit too personal for him to dare to do such a thing. He clears his throat, not feeling there's anything more to say on the subject for now, and returns to going over his paperwork. There's financial work to glance over in passing, paperwork to sign, new projects starting that need his approval, far too many things to go over. For nearly an hour, Takatora sits leaning back in his chair reading a single report, flipping through the pages and going over all of the details for one of Ryouma's new pet projects.

Honestly, it wasn't as though he enjoyed any of this. It was simply required of him.]

[Mitsuzane does get back to work, trying to focus on reading about cellular structure and cloning. It's interesting, but not enough to keep his mind totally occupied, and it takes some actual effort to make himself focus. After all, he has to start making decisions about where he's going to go in life. He can't stay with the Beat Riders forever. As fun as it is, he has a family reputation to uphold.]

[Still, he'd prefer to get back to his math notes rather than biology. Math is simply more straightforward and easier to keep filed away.]

[After a bit more reading on the project, Takatora sets the paperwork down and rubs at his eyes, sighing heavily at realizing how much further he needs to go. He reaches over to grab his coffee, bringing the mug to his lips only to realize the liquid is completely ice cold. ... how long had it been since he'd touched it? He couldn't even remember, now.

Takatora reluctantly pushes his chair back and stands, going to get water instead. It would be a waste to drink coffee again with how late it's gotten, coupled with making coffee would be even more of a waste. It's an unfortunate bad habit he's gained over the years, neglecting himself so much.

When Takatora returns to his desk, he stands by Mitsuzane's side and carefully holds out a cup of water to the other.]

How is your progress?

[He barely notices when Takatora gets up, but he definitely notices when he stand next to him. He pauses in his reading, looking up and smiling faintly.]

I'm doing all right. Not as fast as I could be, but fast enough that I should be done with my review soon. Then I have math to review.

[He reaches up and carefully takes the cup, fingers brushing against his brother's. ... Hm. Interesting.]

[At the touch, Takatora's fingers twitch, though he manages to keep himself mildly calm until Mitsuzane's hand is withdrawn, at which point he immediately (almost too quickly) pulls his hand back and returns it to his side.]

I miss the days of doing work like that...

[It was, again, a bit too revealing perhaps, but his tone was sincere. While he had been in school, at least at Mitsuzane's age, he had been too young for their father to push the full weight of what was to come at him. He had known the truth, however, before leaving high school, and had carried the weight with him for the rest of his life. The shock at growing up so suddenly was something Takatora wanted to avoid with his brother, but it didn't seem he could dodge so easily anymore.]

[... As he thought. He shakes his head a little bit, glancing down at the page again.]

I suppose it's easier than what you deal with, but the endless repetition and memorization is... mm. I wish there was more practical application for where I'm planning on going. I can see where it would be useful, but I don't plan on becoming a biologist.

[Business school has been his target for a long time, though the idea still makes his heart sink a bit. It's not that he doesn't think he can handle it, but he would be so much happier at a performing arts school. Even so, family duty trumps his desires, much as he hates it.]

I think you're missing the point of the situation you're in.

[Takatora steps away from Mitsuzane now, walking around to take a seat once more. He pauses long enough to sip his water, then places it next to his coffee cup.]

When you're learning a subject that doesn't interest you or that doesn't carry forward, it's best to view it as an exercise in sharpening your... as you said, memorization. Or studying habits. It's not enjoyable to learn things you have no interest in, but it's a learned art in pleasing others and doing what's required of you.

Regardless, it's only necessary until you go to university. Things are a bit more enjoyable once you have more options.

... That's true, I know. It's just not the sort of subject I like the most.

[He takes another sip of water, and thinks over his words again. He can be a little less careful like this, which is... a little bit of a relief. It's just talking, like a normal family.]

What sort of subjects did you like the most when you were in school, nii-san?

[The question obviously surprised Takatora, especially with how relaxed his brother seemed to be around him now. While work was important, Takatora pushed his paperwork aside from the moment and rested his hands on the table, staring thoughtfully down at the surface.]

... that's a surprisingly embarrassing question.

[Seriously? Micchy laughs a little bit, before quickly covering his mouth.]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to embarrass you. I was just wondering.

[Mitsuzane's laughter makes Takatora smile instantly, the other covering his mouth just making him laugh in response. He leans back a bit and motions to Mitsuzane accusingly with his hand. Wow... When was the last time he'd been so relaxed?]

No laughing! I'm being serious. You won't think very highly of me once I tell you.

I could never not think highly of you, nii-san. But I don't really know that much about you, if I'm honest. I mean, when we were young, you were always busy. You're still always busy.

[Takatora sighs heavily at that realization, leaning back again and crossing his arms in front of his chest.]

You're right. ... I'm sorry. I feel as though I don't know anything about you sometimes, either. [He smiles again, a bit sadly this time.] If there's ever anything you want to know about me, I'll do what I can to be fully honest with you.

[Granted, there's a few things he really hopes Mitsuzane doesn't ask of him, but he won't even hint at those. Like his history with Ryouma.]

As far as subjects... Mm. Music was a passion of mine for a long time, I think you were too young to remember. I enjoyed history very much, the idea of learning about other civilizations... [And then he'd learned about Helheim and regretted any moment he'd ever dreamed of being a famous researcher as a child.]

English was enjoyable, after I gave my interest time to develop. [He'd been forced into cramming as much English knowledge as possible in a very short amount of time, thanks to their father. He clears his throat, hesitating before the last one.] ... and archery.

[... Huh. Those weren't things he would have expected to hear out of someone like his brother. Something athletic, and even... music. Which actually makes sense, now that he thinks about it. He has a vague memory of dancing along to some kind of music when he was little... maybe Takatora was there, too.]

I can see why you wouldn't have much time for archery anymore. But music...

[Oh. Of course.]

... Father told you to give it up, didn't he?

[Of course, Takatora still had time to do physical training for his role as Zangetsu. It also amused him (in a mildly creeped out way) that Ryouma had developed bows as the primary weapons for the next generation of belts. He knew Ryouma had done it on purpose, just because of him, though he'd never asked to clarify. Takatora didn't need to.

Being called out on the exact circumstance made Takatora appear slightly uncomfortable as he looked back up to Mitsuzane.]

I was allowed to study the violin from the age of six until I left high school. At that point, Father wanted me to focus all of my energy on taking over the company. Such things were deemed unnecessary. ... since then, I simply haven't found the time. By now, it seems like it would be a waste to try and regain what I knew before.

[That look on his face doesn't look very pleased, but he's more hurt than angry. Now that he had learned about Helheim and knew his responsibilities, everything else seemed insignificant in comparison. It felt selfish to ask for a life where he could enjoy himself.]

... You can do as you like, though. At least in some things.

[Maybe it's dangerous saying this, but he owes it to Takatora. Even with everything between them, even with everything that's going on, he's still his brother.]

Even if you can't play anymore, you can still listen to it. You shouldn't have to give up your passion so easily. You deserve to have some happiness in your life, nii-san.

Listening isn't the same as playing.

[He wraps his arms around himself, leaning back and tilting his head to stare up at the ceiling.]

When you find something you're passionate about, you can lose yourself in it. Caring for my instrument, tuning it, learning new songs, playing and practicing until I got everything correct. ... time stops when you care about something like that. Nothing else matters for awhile.

[Takatora sighs heavily, knowing he has to choose his words carefully, knowing what he knows.]

I always hoped you would find something you loved.

[... Is he? ... He knows. He has to know. It's difficult to keep his cool, because he actually feels somewhat offended that Takatora is trying to manipulate him.]

... I know. I know it's not the same, but I want to at least try to help you be happy. You work so hard, and... I just want to help. So if I can help bring back those happy memories you had...

[... This isn't going to work. He hides his face by taking another sip of water. Should he ask? ... No. Not here. At home.]