heavenlydecree | (no subject)

[If there was one thing Takatora was sure he should have learned by now, it would be how to keep his life in perfect running order. He had been the head of Yggdrasill's Research and Development branch from the moment he'd left high school and even before that, his father had kept him on a tight and strict schedule, never a second unaccounted for or left out of place. Unfortunately, with all of Takatora's scheduling and trying to squeeze an extra hour into every day, he still felt as though he never had time for anything, let alone everything. Even his weekends left little time for himself, though Takatora was also painfully aware of his obsession with triple-checking everything under his command and bringing such weight onto himself. He couldn't allow for errors.

His morning routine started a bit later on the weekends, if only because Takatora knew he had to catch up on sleep at some point to make up for running himself ragged. Getting sick was something he couldn't risk. The usual morning routine went by quickly: dragging himself out of bed (he'd never become a morning person, as much as he wanted to), showering, getting dressed, checking for any news or alerts while he had been sleeping. Thankfully, nothing important had happened during the night. Takatora always lived with the fear of something awful happening while he was asleep that he would be unprepared for, but every morning brought the same temporary relief. For now.

Takatora headed out of his room after an hour or so, still checking his phone as he made his way down the hall and towards the stairs. Ryouma already wanted to talk to him about something, which was mildly surprising as Ryouma rarely (never) got out of bed so early, which meant he'd been up all night again. Stepping past one of the maids, Takatora spoke a return greeting to her as he continued on, paying more attention to typing out messages than his surroundings.]

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[... Huh. Those weren't things he would have expected to hear out of someone like his brother. Something athletic, and even... music. Which actually makes sense, now that he thinks about it. He has a vague memory of dancing along to some kind of music when he was little... maybe Takatora was there, too.]

I can see why you wouldn't have much time for archery anymore. But music...

[Oh. Of course.]

... Father told you to give it up, didn't he?

[Of course, Takatora still had time to do physical training for his role as Zangetsu. It also amused him (in a mildly creeped out way) that Ryouma had developed bows as the primary weapons for the next generation of belts. He knew Ryouma had done it on purpose, just because of him, though he'd never asked to clarify. Takatora didn't need to.

Being called out on the exact circumstance made Takatora appear slightly uncomfortable as he looked back up to Mitsuzane.]

I was allowed to study the violin from the age of six until I left high school. At that point, Father wanted me to focus all of my energy on taking over the company. Such things were deemed unnecessary. ... since then, I simply haven't found the time. By now, it seems like it would be a waste to try and regain what I knew before.

[That look on his face doesn't look very pleased, but he's more hurt than angry. Now that he had learned about Helheim and knew his responsibilities, everything else seemed insignificant in comparison. It felt selfish to ask for a life where he could enjoy himself.]

... You can do as you like, though. At least in some things.

[Maybe it's dangerous saying this, but he owes it to Takatora. Even with everything between them, even with everything that's going on, he's still his brother.]

Even if you can't play anymore, you can still listen to it. You shouldn't have to give up your passion so easily. You deserve to have some happiness in your life, nii-san.

Listening isn't the same as playing.

[He wraps his arms around himself, leaning back and tilting his head to stare up at the ceiling.]

When you find something you're passionate about, you can lose yourself in it. Caring for my instrument, tuning it, learning new songs, playing and practicing until I got everything correct. ... time stops when you care about something like that. Nothing else matters for awhile.

[Takatora sighs heavily, knowing he has to choose his words carefully, knowing what he knows.]

I always hoped you would find something you loved.

[... Is he? ... He knows. He has to know. It's difficult to keep his cool, because he actually feels somewhat offended that Takatora is trying to manipulate him.]

... I know. I know it's not the same, but I want to at least try to help you be happy. You work so hard, and... I just want to help. So if I can help bring back those happy memories you had...

[... This isn't going to work. He hides his face by taking another sip of water. Should he ask? ... No. Not here. At home.]

One day, once everything is over--

[No, no, no. Abort. That was wrong. That was way more information that he needed to drop right now. How could he have let that slip?]

--once life calms down a bit, we'll see.

[Of course, Takatora's still fully expecting for Helheim to take over the world and everyone being forced into using the fruits along with the drivers to survive. How could he think of anything happy happening during that time? Honestly, he'd never thought of what he would do once the world ended. It had never seemed important.]

[... He lets his expression fall into one of some confusion, but internally he marks that down. He'll have to ask more, later. He nods, looking back down at his textbook.]

I'll be quiet now. We both have things we should be doing.

You're right. I'm sorry for distracting you from your work.

[Takatora offers a smile, one that is surprisingly warm and genuine, though his expression seems more hurt by the time it leaves his face. It only takes a few minutes from the time he picks the report up to start re-reading it for any trace of the smile to leave his face, having slipped right back into work-mode.]