呉島 貴虎 | kureshima takatora (
heavenlydecree) wrote2014-09-19 10:58 pm
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[If there was one thing Takatora was sure he should have learned by now, it would be how to keep his life in perfect running order. He had been the head of Yggdrasill's Research and Development branch from the moment he'd left high school and even before that, his father had kept him on a tight and strict schedule, never a second unaccounted for or left out of place. Unfortunately, with all of Takatora's scheduling and trying to squeeze an extra hour into every day, he still felt as though he never had time for anything, let alone everything. Even his weekends left little time for himself, though Takatora was also painfully aware of his obsession with triple-checking everything under his command and bringing such weight onto himself. He couldn't allow for errors.
His morning routine started a bit later on the weekends, if only because Takatora knew he had to catch up on sleep at some point to make up for running himself ragged. Getting sick was something he couldn't risk. The usual morning routine went by quickly: dragging himself out of bed (he'd never become a morning person, as much as he wanted to), showering, getting dressed, checking for any news or alerts while he had been sleeping. Thankfully, nothing important had happened during the night. Takatora always lived with the fear of something awful happening while he was asleep that he would be unprepared for, but every morning brought the same temporary relief. For now.
Takatora headed out of his room after an hour or so, still checking his phone as he made his way down the hall and towards the stairs. Ryouma already wanted to talk to him about something, which was mildly surprising as Ryouma rarely (never) got out of bed so early, which meant he'd been up all night again. Stepping past one of the maids, Takatora spoke a return greeting to her as he continued on, paying more attention to typing out messages than his surroundings.]
His morning routine started a bit later on the weekends, if only because Takatora knew he had to catch up on sleep at some point to make up for running himself ragged. Getting sick was something he couldn't risk. The usual morning routine went by quickly: dragging himself out of bed (he'd never become a morning person, as much as he wanted to), showering, getting dressed, checking for any news or alerts while he had been sleeping. Thankfully, nothing important had happened during the night. Takatora always lived with the fear of something awful happening while he was asleep that he would be unprepared for, but every morning brought the same temporary relief. For now.
Takatora headed out of his room after an hour or so, still checking his phone as he made his way down the hall and towards the stairs. Ryouma already wanted to talk to him about something, which was mildly surprising as Ryouma rarely (never) got out of bed so early, which meant he'd been up all night again. Stepping past one of the maids, Takatora spoke a return greeting to her as he continued on, paying more attention to typing out messages than his surroundings.]
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Once Takatora was seated, he leaned back in his chair and crossed one leg over the other, staring at Mitsuzane as he spoke.]
Ryouma... and I have been working on a project for a very long time. I offered myself for an experiment because I wanted to shoulder the effects myself. ... it was simply a miscalculation, a mechanical malfunction. I don't hold Ryouma responsible, even though I'm sure he still blames himself.
[He sighed heavily.]
I was in the hospital for weeks. I told you I was out of town, but I never gave you a reason. I didn't believe at the time you would understand or be able to handle such news. My recovery took months. It's far from perfect now, but it's condition has vastly improved. Sometimes, unfortunately, it still tends to act up. I feel like an old man some days.
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I... I see. I won't ask you about this project now, since you did tell me you would only answer a single question, and I know you're busy anyway. But I do... want to know if there's anything I can do to help it? If you had told me before I could at least help pick things up for you. Not that you shouldn't exercise it, but there's no reason to strain yourself.
[It also gave him a good theory on how to fight if the worst happened. Not that he himself was the best fighter... but then again, that was all the more reason to keep such an advantage in his pocket if things turned messy.]
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It's not so bad that I need you to do those things for me. As your older brother... it's my responsibility to be strong and protect you. I would never want you to view me as weak...
[He cleared his throat, sitting up to start sorting the paperwork on his desk.]
I apologize. I know I can be rather selfish sometimes.
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[He picked up his textbook again, but didn't open it. Not yet. He still had a few more lines to deliver before he went back to studying.]
You can't do all of this on your own. I just want to help you, like I said. I'm your brother. If you can't trust me to help...
[Well, then who could he? He didn't say it, but the unsaid words still hung in the air.]
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[Unfortunately, Takatora trusted Mitsuzane far more that he knew was healthy or that he wanted to let on, but he was fairly sure his younger brother already knew that with how easy he was to manipulate.]
I simply don't want to burden you. However... [He pressed his lips together for a moment, then reached across the table to lightly grasp Mitsuzane's hand, looking up at him.] Thank you. It means more than you know to hear you say these things.
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Whatever you're shouldering, we can shoulder it together. It's been just the two of us for a long time. I'm not so young anymore. You can count on me now.
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[Takatora reached out with his other hand, clasping Mitsuzane's in both of his and squeezing tightly. It pulled a bit on his shoulder, but the pain was minor compared to the message he wanted to convey. He managed a weak, warm smile, with a look on his face for a moment that he might actually start to cry.]
I'm sorry, Mitsuzane... I don't deserve a little brother as kind as you.
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There's no need to look so upset. You're the one who taught me almost everything I know, nii-san.
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[Takatora hated the idea of being emotional in front of his brother, if only because being weak in front of the other seemed so unsatisfactory. If he was supposed to be strong, then breaking down in front of him wouldn't do any good. Unfortunately, it was always hard to fight that sort of feeling when he received such kindness.
Takatora gave Mitsuzane's hands a final squeeze before he pulled his hands back, resuming his organizing of paperwork. Beating himself up in front of Mitsuzane wouldn't look good either.]
Are you feeling a little better? ... health wise and about this, I mean.
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[His bruises still would take a little time to heal, but those were minor when compared to the idea of not protecting Gaim. Fortunately, Mai had let him know that today was looking quiet. At least that was a little good news.]
And... well. We can talk more when we get home. I think we both have work to do now, right?
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[Takatora focuses on his paperwork as much as the conversation at hand, trying to remember where he had been before talking to both Ryouma and Mitsuzane had upset the rhythm he'd had going. He carefully moves his completed work to the side, trying to sort through what he has left. Unfortunately, the results aren't good, as usual. There will be plenty more to catch up on tomorrow.]
You're still welcome to ask me if you get stuck.
[It really made his heart twist that Mitsuzane was being so forward, wanting to spend so much time with him and making it convenient for Takatora. It certainly made him want to return to the favor.]
... is there anything you might want for dinner?
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[Not orange juice, though. ... He had considered it, but the idea just feels weird to him now. That fruit just falling onto Kouta's head... the image won't leave him as long as he thinks of the juice, so it had to be something else.]
And... I don't know. Just something simple. I don't think we really need to do anything elaborate tonight. I still have a math test to study for once I'm done with biology, after all.
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Think about what you want. I'll order it for you. A good meal will help your health.
[Aside from that, Takatora had yet to eat since leaving the house, which drew his attention to the box on the corner of the desk. Perhaps after a bit more paperwork...]
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[Even with everything, he still has to keep up with school. ... He tries to suppress a flash of jealousy of the others. They didn't have classes to worry about, just dance. Even once he finished high school he wouldn't escape classes. He's going to university - there's no question about it. He's not going to have time to dance forever.]
... As long as you eat something, too.
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[That should have been surprising enough, considering how strict their father had always been about eating anywhere in the house other than at the dining room table, though both sons had broken that from time to time. Takatora occasionally (though rarely) ate in his home office or in his room, while any time Mitsuzane was sick, Takatora always had the food taken to his room. To suggest eating their meals in such a small, awkward place?
Well, it was one of the only rooms in the house without cameras and while Takatora was sure Ryouma would figure out what was said at some point, he didn't want anyone listening.]
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Understood. Please let me know if there's anything I can do to make myself useful while I'm here, nii-san.
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[Now he was slipping back into commanding older brother mode. It was a concern not only for the state of Mitsuzane's health in general and wanting to make sure his cold didn't knock him off his feet with the stress of school, but also because he was far too worried about what Mitsuzane's reaction would be to any of the information he'd gain that night.]
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[He hesitates a moment, before nodding. Slightly submissive, right. He can play this role just fine. It's not one he likes, but he doesn't have to lay it on too thick, thankfully.]
Yes, nii-san. I'll make sure I'm done before then.
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Honestly, it wasn't as though he enjoyed any of this. It was simply required of him.]
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[Still, he'd prefer to get back to his math notes rather than biology. Math is simply more straightforward and easier to keep filed away.]
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Takatora reluctantly pushes his chair back and stands, going to get water instead. It would be a waste to drink coffee again with how late it's gotten, coupled with making coffee would be even more of a waste. It's an unfortunate bad habit he's gained over the years, neglecting himself so much.
When Takatora returns to his desk, he stands by Mitsuzane's side and carefully holds out a cup of water to the other.]
How is your progress?
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I'm doing all right. Not as fast as I could be, but fast enough that I should be done with my review soon. Then I have math to review.
[He reaches up and carefully takes the cup, fingers brushing against his brother's. ... Hm. Interesting.]
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I miss the days of doing work like that...
[It was, again, a bit too revealing perhaps, but his tone was sincere. While he had been in school, at least at Mitsuzane's age, he had been too young for their father to push the full weight of what was to come at him. He had known the truth, however, before leaving high school, and had carried the weight with him for the rest of his life. The shock at growing up so suddenly was something Takatora wanted to avoid with his brother, but it didn't seem he could dodge so easily anymore.]
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I suppose it's easier than what you deal with, but the endless repetition and memorization is... mm. I wish there was more practical application for where I'm planning on going. I can see where it would be useful, but I don't plan on becoming a biologist.
[Business school has been his target for a long time, though the idea still makes his heart sink a bit. It's not that he doesn't think he can handle it, but he would be so much happier at a performing arts school. Even so, family duty trumps his desires, much as he hates it.]
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[Takatora steps away from Mitsuzane now, walking around to take a seat once more. He pauses long enough to sip his water, then places it next to his coffee cup.]
When you're learning a subject that doesn't interest you or that doesn't carry forward, it's best to view it as an exercise in sharpening your... as you said, memorization. Or studying habits. It's not enjoyable to learn things you have no interest in, but it's a learned art in pleasing others and doing what's required of you.
Regardless, it's only necessary until you go to university. Things are a bit more enjoyable once you have more options.
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