my heart was limping and this is the end of the road //

[heavenlydecree]

[Despite existing in some form or another for twenty-four years, Takatora still couldn't be sure if he was thankful or not for his ability to function so much like a human. With every new body, his appearance and functions improved significantly. In the beginning, he could remember, his expressions had always been stoic, his voice monotone and unemotional, his body stiff and unforgiving. But, as Yggdrasill's technology improved over the years, so did his bodies.

Now, it was near impossible to tell him apart from a human other than carefully hidden ports on his body, all with various levels of power over each other to avoid crashing completely in the event of an accident destroying one or more. His skin was warm to the touch, his emotions more strongly developed (in part from monitoring his 'brother' so closely for so many years), and he could even eat and process food, though tasting was a bit shaky. It was one of the things that wasn't quite as important, though it was one of the many pieces currently standing by for his next body, if only because Takatora had expressed curiosity.

Today was one of the few days of the week he didn't have to work. Takatora had already reported in to his 'father' the night before with updates about the company and how everything was going. It never felt strange to be so subservient to the man, especially when Takatora had known his role for a very long time. It was simply another one of his duties.

Straightening the collar of his shirt, Takatora rolled his neck, stretching his body a bit before reaching back to self-consciously fluff his hair back down over one of his ports. It was hidden well enough that even someone touching his head wouldn't be able to tell it was there unless they knew, but he was always keenly aware of its presence.

It had taken only a few minutes to be satisfied with his appearance, at which point Takatora left his room and carefully walked down the hall, knocking on Mitsuzane's door. Even though they had known each other for so long, Takatora was always skittish about their interactions. He was fairly sure Mitsuzane had forgotten any times he'd come close to finding out the truth about his 'brother', but Takatora had always been concerned about the consequences. The last thing he wanted was for Mitsuzane to be frightened of him, or worse, disgusted by him.]

... Mitsuzane?

Comments

[heavenlydecree]

I see. I'm sorry you had to go through so much pain.

[Now, he also wondered if Mitsuzane remembered what he had seen of Takatora's body, the rips and tears and popping and metal pieces, along with the way he knew his eyes must have looked at the time.

With the way Mitsuzane spoke... It seemed as though he was thinking it was the end of the line, that he had truly died with no alternative. .. and possibly that Takatora had died with him.]

If you had a choice, would you go back?

[grapeeater]

[He sighed, and tried to relax. His body felt... strange. Not entirely there.]

It's not fair. I never got to... I couldn't protect you. You got hurt too. It's not fair that you were hurt. But I... there's no way to undo what's happened in the past.

[heavenlydecree]

It's the older brother's job to protect the younger one. I did everything I could and ... to protect you, it wasn't enough.

[Carefully, Takatora stroked Mitsuzane's hair, leaning against him and doing his best to be comforting, just as he had been all day.]

But I want to know if you'd want a second chance. And what you would do with it.

[grapeeater]

I know... but I want to protect you, too. And... there's a lot I didn't get to do. So... if I could, I would. I don't know that it's possible, though.

[heavenlydecree]

Tell me what you want to do when you go back.

[Takatora had no intention of elaborating just yet. He also didn't want to approach the topic of what he truly was, simply to pull suspicion away from it. He knew Mitsuzane was intelligent and had possibly picked up on it, but that was a topic for him to bring up.]

[grapeeater]

... I want to keep living a life. To do something that matters. Even if it's just helping you, keeping you safe... that's enough for me. I want to do something to make the world better. To make my life matter.

[heavenlydecree]

That's very selfless of you. Isn't there anything you want for yourself?

[Takatora continued petting the other's hair, feeling a bit guilty. At least he was giving his brother what he wanted, in a way. He hoped it would be enough.]

[grapeeater]

... Well living is nice. There's not really anything I need, though. I like music... but I don't know that there's much I really want for my own. You taught me that people like us should help others less fortunate than us.

[heavenlydecree]

I see. You're very noble.

[Takatora made a mildly amused noise at that, nudging the side of Mitsuzane's head with his nose.]

I never knew you looked up to me so much.

[grapeeater]

Well... you're my older brother. Of course I look up to you.

[He smiled a bit and shifted a little closer.]

[heavenlydecree]

[Takatora hesitated before resting his chin on Mitsuzane's head, pulling him in and keeping an arm wrapped around him.]

Mitsuzane...

[How was he even supposed to bring up this topic?]

Tell me what else you remember about the accident.

[grapeeater]

... I don't know how well my mind was working. I know you were hurt but it was like... something tore in your skin. There was... something under there. I know you have... certain spots you don't like to be touched... it...

[Saying it out loud made it seem silly and childish, and even stupid.]

[heavenlydecree]

[... really, what was the use in hiding it, anymore? It would be a betrayal of Mitsuzane's trust to keep him in the dark for much longer, especially with what was happening. Mitsuzane was a very intelligent young man and Takatora had no doubt that he would figure things out on his own eventually. Even now, there was so much evidence, coupled with whatever Mitsuzane might have noticed earlier in life.]

I don't wish to lie to you, Mitsuzane...

[grapeeater]

... I know. But I've never really wanted to ask. I was always afraid that you might not want to talk about it. And I care about you a lot. I don't want to make you uncomfortable.

[heavenlydecree]

I had a feeling you were smart enough to know I was different. You've always been very intelligent.

[Takatora took a deep, sighing breath, nearly hiding his face in Mitsuzane's hair. Would he hate him for this?]

I... am not human.

[grapeeater]

[He just tilted his head up to look at Takatora. He didn't say anything, just waited for him to go on.]

[heavenlydecree]

[Takatora hesitated again, reaching over with his free hand to hold one of Mitsuzane's in his own. Perhaps it was a selfish gesture, hoping to keep his brother closer to him. If he was close enough, it might discourage Mitsuzane from pushing him away.]

Father created me, a long time before you were born. Our parents never anticipated having a child and he wanted the security of having an heir. Rather than adopting, he... created me as a prototype. I've gone through many developments over the course of my existence. ... I've learned many things from you as well.

[grapeeater]

... I see. That explains some things...

[His voice was quiet, and he closed his eyes, leaning against him. He was soft and warm and everything about him was just... his brother.]

... But it doesn't really matter. You're still my brother. I don't care if you're human or not.

[heavenlydecree]

Once you were born, it became my duty to protect you. That I failed in such a way... is unacceptable. However, I know there was nothing more I could have done. I can't justifiably blame myself for what happened.

[The words caught him by surprise. He hadn't expected such an... accepting answer.]

You really are too kind, Mitsuzane.

[Takatora continued petting Mitsuzane's hair, wary of continuing.]

I'm going to bring you back...

[grapeeater]

You did what you could. It's not something you could have predicted.

[He tilted his head into the touch, closing his eyes.]

But... how?

[heavenlydecree]

We've already begun the procedure. That's how I'm speaking to you now. You're in... a form of stasis. You already understand what happened to your body.

[Thankfully, he didn't have to explain that his brother was dead.]

You'll be given a temporary body until we can make you something better. Ideally, you wouldn't be able to tell much of a difference.

[His words were muttered against Mitsuzane's head, still cautious of the potential outburst.]

[grapeeater]

... I see.

[He stiffened a little bit as he tried to take it in.]

... As long as you're with me, I don't mind. I know we'll get through this.

[heavenlydecree]

[That... had gone considerably better than he had imagined. He tightly hugged Mitsuzane against his side, relief flooding through him that he'd made the correct decision.]

I'm sorry. There was not very much time to decide and I... could not imagine being without you, or allowing you to have such a short life. ... I hope that you forgive me.

[grapeeater]

You did what you could. It's okay.

[The The library near the edges faded out and the two of them now were curled up on a couch on a beach, overlooking the sea. A warm breeze blew, and the sun was setting.]

[heavenlydecree]

[The scene fascinated him, just as most things that had to do with Mitsuzane did. He had yet to pull away, still tightly, desperately holding Mitsuzane against him.]

I wonder, perhaps, if someone like me is capable of these things...