heavenlydecree | (no subject)

(no subject)

[If there was one thing Takatora was sure he should have learned by now, it would be how to keep his life in perfect running order. He had been the head of Yggdrasill's Research and Development branch from the moment he'd left high school and even before that, his father had kept him on a tight and strict schedule, never a second unaccounted for or left out of place. Unfortunately, with all of Takatora's scheduling and trying to squeeze an extra hour into every day, he still felt as though he never had time for anything, let alone everything. Even his weekends left little time for himself, though Takatora was also painfully aware of his obsession with triple-checking everything under his command and bringing such weight onto himself. He couldn't allow for errors.

His morning routine started a bit later on the weekends, if only because Takatora knew he had to catch up on sleep at some point to make up for running himself ragged. Getting sick was something he couldn't risk. The usual morning routine went by quickly: dragging himself out of bed (he'd never become a morning person, as much as he wanted to), showering, getting dressed, checking for any news or alerts while he had been sleeping. Thankfully, nothing important had happened during the night. Takatora always lived with the fear of something awful happening while he was asleep that he would be unprepared for, but every morning brought the same temporary relief. For now.

Takatora headed out of his room after an hour or so, still checking his phone as he made his way down the hall and towards the stairs. Ryouma already wanted to talk to him about something, which was mildly surprising as Ryouma rarely (never) got out of bed so early, which meant he'd been up all night again. Stepping past one of the maids, Takatora spoke a return greeting to her as he continued on, paying more attention to typing out messages than his surroundings.]

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Sorry... It just makes me feel better. It's nice to know someone's around when you start having bad dreams, or something.

[The 'or something' was tacked on pretty fast to make it sound more casual, but he knows he's given himself away.]

... It's okay. You're not the only one who has them.

... what do you dream about?

[Kouta scratches the bed again for Micchy's hand, pouting a little now.]

[He takes Kouta's hand gently, trying to figure out how to phrase this.]

Sometimes it's stupid things - failing a test, botching a presentation... sometimes it's about falling on my face in front of the rest of the team.

Sometimes it's about Inves attacking, and not being able to save anyone. Just them running wild, killing people...

And sometimes it's about just... being alone. I can handle being on my own, but that's different than really being alone.

[Kouta laces his fingers with Micchy's, giving the other's hand a light squeeze as he listens attentively.]

Aah... Yeah. I sort of get the same things....

[He nods, and runs his thumb along the back of the other's hand.]

What about you? Anything else?

[Kouta makes a thoughtful noise, turning his face more towards the pillow and enjoying the feeling of Micchy's touch.]

Falling, sometimes... Being lost inside the forest, looking for Yuuya. ... sometimes he turns into a monster or everyone turns into monsters and I have to kill them, because I can't save them... Or watching someone die and not being able to stop it...

[... He reaches over with his other hand and strokes the back of Kouta's neck.]

Kouta... we'll keep people safe. Don't worry about it. Most of all, we'll keep each other safe. No one's dying if either of us can help it, right?

I know... I guess I'm just scared because I haven't heard from him ever since he wanted me to meet up with him. I don't know what happened.

[On top of that, Kouta was pretty sure his involvement with Yuuya back when he'd first run with the team had been pretty obvious, though Kouta never talked about it.]

... I'm not going to lie to you, Kouta - it doesn't look good. But there's still a possibility he might turn up, until we hear otherwise.

[He smiles a little bit at his friend, trying to be encouraging.]

Do you... mind if I ask you something, though?

[Unfortunately, Kouta's aware of that. His fear is that Yuuya was attacked and died, caught off guard without realizing how to use the belt. Which makes it hurt more, knowing he may never get a chance to properly say goodbye to someone who was so important to him.]

... what?

Were you and Yuuya... together?

[He hadn't really ever wanted to ask, but now... it makes sense.]

[It wasn't as though Kouta had purposely tried to hide it, but he knew Yuuya flirted casually with pretty much every member of the team (and some members from other teams), so maybe it had just never looked that way. He turns his head even more to bury his face in the pillow, trying to ignore the pull of awful emotions in his chest he'd been pushing down for months.]

Yeah... A few months after I joined the team the first time...

Hey...

[He rubs Kouta's back a little, careful not to press too hard. He hadn't wanted to make his friend feel bad, but he sort of had to ask.]

It's okay. It doesn't... really matter to me. I mean... it matters because it matters to you but - you know what I mean.

[He should just shut up before he says something stupid.]

[Kouta whines a little and scoots closer, moving his other hand to tug at Micchy and pull him in enough to hide his face against Micchy's shoulder.]

Yuuya was... ... the first person I ever felt that way about. After my sister wanted me to start working and be more responsible, we ... decided to take a break. It was my idea. I didn't want him to have to wait for me.... It was just until everything got sorted out...

[Not crying, not crying... He definitely doesn't want to start crying.

But he does anyway.]

Micchy... I don't know what to do....

[Oh. He hugs Kouta tightly, not really knowing what to say. How does he comfort someone like this? He doesn't want to lie and tell him that it will be okay, because he doesn't know that - and things have been getting increasingly not okay as time goes on.]

You keep going, just like you have been. We keep looking. You keep being the same person you have been. I think he'd be proud of how you've handled things.

[Of course, trying to hold everything together for so long and letting any sort of crack show means he's now clinging tightly to Micchy and holding the other close, crying and whining against him. It takes a minute or so before he can even pause enough to speak.]

I'm sorry... Micchy... I'm sorry...

[He didn't want to place any kind of burden on his friends, especially with what everyone else was going through, but...]

There's no need to be sorry.

[He strokes Kouta's hair and rubs his neck comfortingly, trying to calm him down a little.]

Shh... I'm here. I'll keep you safe, okay?

[The petting and loving attention just makes him start crying harder, but he buries his face in Micchy's shoulder, trying to quiet himself because he doesn't want his sister coming in to ask why there's so much noise.]

It's okay... it's okay...

[Well he's getting Kouta snot all over his shirt, but whatever. He can deal with it.]

I'm here. I've got you. You don't have to worry about anything, Kouta. I'll fight for your happiness.

I'm sorry...

[Which really seems to be the only thing he can keep getting out.]

I'm sorry I'm so weak... That I don't know what I'm doing... I'm sorry you had to start fighting for my sake...

[He clings tighter, whining as he spills out all of the stress he's been holding the last few months.]

I just want him to come back... I don't want any of this to happen... I don't want any of us to fight...

... No one knows what they're doing. And I'll... I'll find out what happened to Yuuya. Someone has to know. I'll see what I can do, okay?

[Kouta shouldn't have to suffer like this...]

People grow up, and they fight. Maybe not like we do... but all people fight for what they believe in. This isn't so different, really. Not in the end.

[... Hesitantly, he presses a kiss to Kouta's forehead, trying to calm him down.]

It still sucks...

[The kiss seems to calm him down. After a minute, he stops crying completely, wiping at Micchy's shirt with his hand to get the tearstains to try and go away. No such luck.]

Thank you, Micchy...

I know.

[He rocks Kouta in his arms gently, patting his back.]

Try to sleep a little, okay?

[Well, Kouta seems a lot more relaxed at least, after getting all of that out. The rocking certainly helps to relax him.]

Okay...