heavenlydecree | (no subject)

(no subject)

[If there was one thing Takatora was sure he should have learned by now, it would be how to keep his life in perfect running order. He had been the head of Yggdrasill's Research and Development branch from the moment he'd left high school and even before that, his father had kept him on a tight and strict schedule, never a second unaccounted for or left out of place. Unfortunately, with all of Takatora's scheduling and trying to squeeze an extra hour into every day, he still felt as though he never had time for anything, let alone everything. Even his weekends left little time for himself, though Takatora was also painfully aware of his obsession with triple-checking everything under his command and bringing such weight onto himself. He couldn't allow for errors.

His morning routine started a bit later on the weekends, if only because Takatora knew he had to catch up on sleep at some point to make up for running himself ragged. Getting sick was something he couldn't risk. The usual morning routine went by quickly: dragging himself out of bed (he'd never become a morning person, as much as he wanted to), showering, getting dressed, checking for any news or alerts while he had been sleeping. Thankfully, nothing important had happened during the night. Takatora always lived with the fear of something awful happening while he was asleep that he would be unprepared for, but every morning brought the same temporary relief. For now.

Takatora headed out of his room after an hour or so, still checking his phone as he made his way down the hall and towards the stairs. Ryouma already wanted to talk to him about something, which was mildly surprising as Ryouma rarely (never) got out of bed so early, which meant he'd been up all night again. Stepping past one of the maids, Takatora spoke a return greeting to her as he continued on, paying more attention to typing out messages than his surroundings.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yeah.

[... This is a stupid question. It's a stupider question since the internet exists, and it's possibly even more stupid since he knows Kouta can be kind of... oblivious.]

Kouta... how do you know if someone likes you? More than a friend, I mean.

[....... wait what.]

I-- ... do you think someone likes you?

[Kouta knows someone would have to. Or at least a lot of someone's. Micchy was such a great person, after all.]

... I don't know. Maybe. I'm not sure. It's sort of a... difficult situation. It's not something I know very much about.

Aah... well... ... I can sort of help, I guess. I know how Yuuya acted around me.

[He makes a face.]

I guess... With him, he always wanted to spend time with me. He helped me out a lot, whenever I needed something, was always there before I even knew I needed him. Any time I was having a bad day, Yuuya would help me and do everything he could to make it better. And...

[Kouta makes an awkward smile, bringing one hand up to wipe at his face with how strange he feels talking about this.]

You know how touchy Yuuya was. But with me... He told me once we were together that he didn't really touch me as much as everyone else, because he was worried he would scare me off. ... but it actually just made me think he was mad at me.

[Now, he's actually smiling at that a little, trying to focus on the better memories instead of what the future likely holds.]

What do they do around you?

... Some... mostly the same kinds of things. I never really had much interest in people like that for a long time. But then I got older and it sort of... sneaked up on me. I just don't know how to ask, since they're really friendly anyway and I don't know if it's just me noticing them more.

[He pulls back a little and smiles a little sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.]

I guess I'm kind of a late bloomer with that stuff. I'm just not sure how to sort out my feelings, too.

Well... It's just like being friends, except closer.

[Kouta motions between them.]

Like how you and I are really close. Sometimes you have bonds like that with your friends. I think it's hard to describe exactly what it is, sometimes. ... I guess I'm better for saying how things are when you like someone, not when they like you.

[He cautiously tugs on Micchy's sleeve.]

... is it someone I know?

I don't... I don't know if I should say. I don't want anything to change between us.

[Wait. Shit.]

-- eh?

[Wait... Did he-- ... was that...?]

[He looks down and flips up the hood on his jacket, trying to hide his face.]

Nonono! Hey! Don't hide! You can tell me! Come on!

[Whatever. He's already blown so much, he can't really go much lower. He looks up at Kouta and pulls him close, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek.]

... I don't know what it is about you, but you make me feel... a lot of things I didn't think I could feel.

[...... OH.

Kouta sits there for a moment in shock, attempting to speak multiple times before he finally manages to start.]

Micchy...

... If you don't feel the same way, I understand. I just... you make me feel safe.

I'm sorry... I didn't know...

[Now he feels super guilty about all the talking he did about Yuuya just now... and the other night, breaking down crying over it.

Kouta tugs Micchy over and wraps his arms around him again, returning the cheek-kiss.]

My feelings are in a lot of different places right now, but I'll never stop being your friend and I'll never stop protecting you.

[He nods, trying not to cry. It doesn't mean he never will, it just means he still has things to sort out. It wasn't that long ago that Yuuya disappeared, after all.]

I just... I like it when people get close to me. It's... it's not something I'm used to and I like how it feels. And it feels okay with you. But I understand that you and Yuuya are still... you still feel strongly about him. And I don't want to get in the way of your feelings.

... I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry.

[Oh no, Kouta notices that look. He squeezes Micchy tighter and pulls him in close, practically dragging the other onto his lap as he comfortingly rubs the other's back.]

No, I'm glad you told me. I want you to feel like you can tell me anything, okay? That's what friends do for each other.

... Thank you. And thank you for not thinking I was... weird, or something.

[He feels weird. It's more acceptable now to feel that sort of thing but it's still weird.]

Why would I think you're weird?

[Kouta playfully bumps their noses together.]

I just... I don't want it to bother you. My feelings. ... if they conflict with yours.

No, it's... it's okay.

[It's not okay, but whatever. He tries to smile, even though it hurts.]

You're still my friend. So it's okay.

[Kouta might be dumb, but he knows right now really isn't the best time to talk about feelings he has aside from Yuuya. ... or to talk about them ever.]

You're still my pseudo-little brother though, right? And my best friend. I care about you a lot, Micchy.

... Thanks.

[He nuzzles into Kouta's arms and tries not to think about things. If Ryouma is listening in he can just shut up.]

[Kouta laughs a little at the nuzzling, reaching up and ruffling Micchy's hair.]

I feel a lot better now...

Yeah? Good.

[alskdfsd. Noo, his hair.]

Are you heading home now?

[He's not sure he wants that, but he doesn't want Micchy to get in trouble.]

I probably should... my brother might get worried.