heavenlydecree: (watching over me)
呉島 貴虎 | kureshima takatora ([personal profile] heavenlydecree) wrote2015-02-01 12:56 pm

the moon is rising on this dangerous night //

[Takatora had, as usual, buried himself in work all day. He'd even stayed out far later than usual due to a few back-to-back business meetings, though he'd been kind enough to spare a few moments to let Mitsuzane know. He didn't want his younger brother to worry about where he was or why he wasn't home on time. Unfortunately, he was a bit vague with saying "probably around midnight". It had been one of those nights, meetings followed by outings and social drinking. Takatora had honestly never cared for it, but it was something he did because it made business partners happy. People talked a lot more when they had alcohol in their system as well, but Takatora had been careful to be polite in his acceptance of drinks while still going slow enough to maintain his composure. There was always the sinking concern that someone would manipulate information out of him while he was vulnerable. He couldn't allow that to happen.

By the time he returns home, it's closer to twelve-thirty. His clothing and everything about him smells of smoke and alcohol. It makes him a bit self-conscious, knowing it's completely out of character for him. He'd even, on one of his rare instances, accepted a cigarette from a colleague. It was a strange and nostalgic happening, but Takatora had thoroughly washed his mouth out afterwards. Still, the smell of smoke from that and the bar itself clung to him.

Takatora rubs at the back of his neck as he walks through the home, anxious to change out of his clothes. However, in passing Mitsuzane's door, he hesitates and then doubles back. It would be best to check on him in case he'd waited up. So he knocks, careful and light.]

grapeeater: (the magician.)

[personal profile] grapeeater 2015-02-01 09:52 pm (UTC)(link)
... That's fine.

[He doesn't really want to be that close to Takatora right now, but if he refuses he'll just hurt him more.]
grapeeater: (Default)

[personal profile] grapeeater 2015-02-01 10:07 pm (UTC)(link)
From what? What are you protecting me from by forcing me into subjects that I hate? I know how to study. My grades are fine.

[He bites his tongue after that outburst. Better to limit what he's saying at the moment.]
grapeeater: (the devil.)

[personal profile] grapeeater 2015-02-01 10:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Why? Why can't you tell me?

[Is it the forest? That's not what he means in this case. He can protect himself just fine from that stuff, though Takatora doesn't know that.]

Why can't I pick what I want to do?

[Maybe it makes him sound childish, but he wants to know.]
grapeeater: (the magician.)

[personal profile] grapeeater 2015-02-02 04:43 am (UTC)(link)
Why not? You can't think of any way to help anyone other than what we've been forced to do? It's not like you can't do multiple things. It's like like doing something other than business prevents you from... I don't know, donating to a charity or helping the less fortunate.

[He sits up a bit, rubbing his face. It's not like Takatora hasn't seen him crying before, and he needs to look like an equal here. Or at least more of one.]
grapeeater: (the chariot.)

[personal profile] grapeeater 2015-02-14 08:37 pm (UTC)(link)
I know. But you can't work all the time. You can't use 'duty' as an excuse to forget to live. Especially not now. If you give away everything of yourself, you won't have anything left. It's not like you're less important than other people. You want to save everyone, but you're forgetting to save yourself.

[It's not like he wants other people to get hurt. Not really. But being pushed into things all the time just seems like a bad idea. It's okay to be selfish sometimes.]
grapeeater: (the fool.)

[personal profile] grapeeater 2015-02-14 08:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Then you're doing a disservice to the people who care about you. I don't want you to lose everything just to save other people.

[He reaches out to grab at Takatora's shirt, tugging at it gently.]

What about me? I don't want to lose my brother. But you're... just getting farther away.
grapeeater: (the hermit.)

[personal profile] grapeeater 2015-02-14 08:53 pm (UTC)(link)

[He sits up, frowning.]

I don't want you to leave me. Please don't leave. I just...

[He just what? They can't go back to being innocent brothers anymore. He lets go of his brother's shirt and looks down at him, before scooting over to give his brother a hug.]

I need you...

[It's childish, and he knows it, but the idea of losing Takatora terrifies him. As much as he might rebel against his brother... being without him is unthinkable.]
grapeeater: (the magician.)

[personal profile] grapeeater 2015-02-14 09:16 pm (UTC)(link)
[Is this what he wants? He's not sure what he wants. He just curls up into his brother, trying not to make noise for a few moments.]

... I just wanted to be around you. But I don't want you to get hurt. Is it so wrong to want good things for your family?
grapeeater: (the hermit.)

[personal profile] grapeeater 2015-02-14 09:26 pm (UTC)(link)
... I know. I know, but it's not fair.

[He reaches up to stroke his brother's hair, like Takatora used to do for him.]

You're not the only one there. You're the highest ranked, but it's not fair that it should all be on you.
grapeeater: (the hierophant.)

[personal profile] grapeeater 2015-02-14 09:36 pm (UTC)(link)
... Maybe. I don't know. I just...

[There's no real excuse. Nothing that really justified it, other than childish pride.]

I don't like being underestimated. I don't like being called a child. I'm not. I haven't been for a long time.

... I just don't like being told that I have to do something or not do something, that I have to be this way or that way. It's hard to become my own person when I'm being told what sort of person I'm supposed to become. ... I just want the freedom to decide for myself what to be.
grapeeater: (the hermit.)

[personal profile] grapeeater 2015-02-14 09:44 pm (UTC)(link)
[He's quiet as he thinks over the question. It's not an easy one to answer. He leans into the touch, closing his eyes and trying to think.]

... It depends. If the whole situation here was safe... then freedom. The freedom to choose what I want to do, to be. I love you, and it's not that I don't care about the family, but... I can't see myself being happy in a business setting.

... But with the situation as it is right now... I just want the people I care about to be safe. And that includes you. You're going to work yourself to death, Takatora...
grapeeater: (the hanged man.)

[personal profile] grapeeater 2015-02-14 10:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Not even after that. I want to have my brother. I want to have family.

[The question is difficult to answer. He could lie, of course, but at this point Takatora would just see right through it.]

I'm... trying. I'm just... I know how business things work... but I don't enjoy it. I don't want to be stuck in something I hate forever. I want to be creative. I need movement, not stiff board rooms...
grapeeater: (the hermit.)

[personal profile] grapeeater 2015-02-14 10:46 pm (UTC)(link)
[He looks up at his brother, trying to figure out how much of it is just saying what he needs to say to get him to work with him and how much is genuine.]

[But does it really matter anymore? Not really. So he leans into his brother's touch, nodding.]

... I intended to do what I could to save the people I care about anyway.

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